Dear dad, I’ve been really emotional lately. Maybe it’s because it’s my wedding anniversary tomorrow and I’ve been looking back at our wedding photos and videos and seeing photos of you, or because I know it’s approaching Father’s Day, and I know that’s going to be a real struggle. I can’t even bring myself to buy cards for Andy... Also I’m dreading the speech at Jason’s wedding. I’m finding things a lot harder to deal with. I know you kept tormenting me about the speech, and kept asking me if I had started it. I had started it, but now I have to change it, and of course you will be in my speech but wording it and actually saying it is going to be so difficult. Dad I’m going to try my best. What’s worrying me is if I can’t cope with it. And then I will feel like I’ve let you down. I want to make you proud, as I will be hoping you are watching me from up above…where ever you are .. and you better not be laughing at me…..but I bet you will 😂 because you always teased me about this blinking speech. I feel like I’m moaning to you with all my problems right now…. I wish you was here to tell me to stop moaning. 😔 I’m missing you so much. As the days, and months go by it’s getting so much harder. I’ve never felt so low and sad..I miss you so, so much. It’s almost 5 months since you have left us… it’s been the worst time of our lives. I love and miss you so much. My heart aches for you. 💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔💙💔