Dear Clive, it’s been a really tough day for me today. All the tears I held in last Saturday have been flooding out all day. I missed you so much last week at Jason’s wedding. I was glad our Tommy was close by when Jason and Karen had their first dance, it’s funny but I expected you to be standing next to me ready to join in with their dance, but instead of you I danced with Tommy. I thought I would break down completely then. It was so hard to hold it altogether. I managed to get through the day and the evening but I felt your loss even more. I felt so lost and alone even though I was surrounded by lots of people. Even when Laura, June and Phil were here I felt your loss even more. You were such a huge part of my life, I just want you back. All the rows we had over the years, the harsh words we said to each other, then we wouldn’t speak for days, I regret all that time we lost when we never spoke, but we can’t turn back the clock although I wish with all my heart that we could. I wish we could have all that lost time back together. You were my rock. I know I never actually told you that but I wish I had. We went through some rough times in our early years together. There were times when we barely had enough to eat but we were okay because we had each other. Then when the time came when we had no mortgage to pay, I had retired, we looked forward to a long future together. Then you left me. I still wake each morning thinking you are still here, I can still feel you here. I really need you, come back to me. Christmas will be here soon and I’m going to make sure I have all those Christmas ornaments that you bought over the years around me. They won’t make me miss you any less, but I will be able to feel you are still here when I look at them. We will all try to enjoy our first Christmas without you because you loved Christmas, we won’t let you down if we can help it. I hope you are safe and happy wherever you are Clive and that you have no more pain. You will always be in my heart and thoughts. I ache so much for you. I’ll write again soon. I love you. Anne 💔💔💔💔