Dear Clive, it’s been a long time since I wrote to you, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about you constantly because I do. Today Tuesday the 12th July is 18 months to the day since you left us. I feel just as heartbroken now as I did then. Time is not the great healer that everyone says it is. I miss you all the time, I can hardly believe I will never see you or hear you again (not in yjis life anyway). All of your clothes, shoes, trainers and your old slippers are still here, I can’t bare to let them go because then all of you will be gone from me. I often look at your things, I still sometimes think that you will be back, maybe from a trip to the shops, or a short stay in hospital. Then I realise all over again hat you are never coming back and my insides just hurt so much. I’ve been to Max’s school assembly and his sports day, that was pretty hard to do on my own because me and you almost always went to them together and I felt your loss even more. Some days I feel so down, it would be easy to just stay in bed all day feeling sorry for myself, but I just have to pull myself together and carry on as normal, Lesley has been so good to me, she comes every day to take Rocky out, she buys him presents too. She cuts the grass for me, and helps me out all the time. I feel so very lucky to have her. How I wish we could have done more things together, retirement was supposed to be our time, we never made the most of it and that saddens me an awful lot. I seem to be remembering our times together from years ago, like how we first met, all the train journeys we made to see each other. That song by Jimmy Ruffin (Farewell is a lonely sound) goes through my head all the time, it still makes me cry because the words meant so much to us then. All I have now are memories of all those years together, it’s funny how only the good memories come to mind. I know we had some really hard times, but the good times outweigh the bad. Rocky has just come upstairs and is sitting on my bed looking out of the window, growling at someone walking by. He is a good guard dog. The weather is really hot, you wouldn’t like this heat. I wish every night that you were still here, I miss you terribly. Days just seem to melt into each other. I love you so much Clive, my heart will never mend. I hope you are able to look down on us and know just what your loss means to us. There will never be another you. Love always 💔💔💔