Dear Clive, it’s the last day of the year today and I will be glad to see the back of it. This year was the 4th Xmas and New Years Eve that you haven’t been with us. It is hard to believe you have been gone for almost 3 years. Sometimes it seems like only yesterday that we were visiting you in hospital, other times it feels like an eternity. I go over and over in my mind the last day I was with you and it hurts so very much just thinking about it. I often wonder if there is a heaven, I’d like to believe that you are able to be with my family and your own family, somewhere in this great universe, so that one day we will be together again. So sad to hear about Bobby passing away. I hope he is with you, but tell him you are not playing Monopoly with him. 😃. I think about you constantly Clive, every day you pop into my thoughts, every night when I hold your cushion tight I talk to you, and you are my first thought every morning. I miss you all the time, I wish so much that you were still here. Sometimes you know, I still think you are upstairs and I feel content until once again I realise you are not there. It is so hard to explain my feelings, I feel a deep sadness within me, I feel regret for all the things we said we would do but now we will never do, I feel cheated that you were taken from me so suddenly, I feel anger at the doctors for not keeping you in the first time you were taken to hospital. Most of all I feel so lonely without you, if I could have one wish it would be to have you back with us again, to hear you laugh like Mutley the dog, for me to have a moan and for you to listen, I love you so much, you were my best friend. I keep count of the days that you have been gone, I don’t know why I just do, it has been 1093 days now. I still read your letters and mine, there are so many memories in those letters, they take me back to our younger years, I often think back over the years but December 1969 is the best time because then I met you. It wasn’t all roses but mostly it was. We struggled sometimes but we always stuck together and together we could get through anything. Oh how I miss you every single day, I’ll never get the chance to hold you again, or give you a goodnight kiss, just a cushion to hold and give my kisses to, to say night night to. I will sign off now Clive but I will write again. ❤️💔❤️💔❤️