Dear Clive, it has been a long time, too long, since I last wrote to you. I have just been reading Lesley’s last message to you, and she was right we really missed you sitting at your place at her table. I did have a really lovely time there but I missed you so much. Today has been one of those days when it hits me all over again that you are gone and I am left behind. Certain songs on the radio can just get to me and I really hurt inside. I was watching a drama called Breathless which is all about what went on in the hospitals during Covid, and because there still weren’t enough machines and ICU beds near the end of Covid decisions were made by Consultants as to who lived and who died. They made that decision for you and we lost you. It should never have happened. We had to believe what the doctors told us. They knew they were wrong but they had to do as they were ordered to do. This house is so empty without you, it feels like only yesterday that all of this happened. Time has not helped me at all. Day by day we have to carry on, we have to be brave even though we are torn apart inside. Things keep going round and round in my head, I keep thinking of those last days we spent with you and I get angry all over again. I do think of lots of the good times we shared, some of the holidays we had, especially ones where Lesley and Jason were young. The caravan used to be great, we could get away from it all and maybe have James with us when he was very young. He loved it there too. They are some of my most treasured memories. This emptiness inside of me, never goes away. One of these days I am going to find the time to read all of letters again, I haven’t read them all yet but I will. We have thousands of memories tied up in those letters Clive, some will make me laugh, others may make me cry but I treasure them.